Post by jeffica on Nov 2, 2009 22:39:49 GMT
[I'll confess, I had a lot of fun writing finding this completely true article... 
]
In a shocking move, police have today exposed one of the more bizarre moments in rock’s competitive history. Contrary to popular belief, southern rock band Kings of Leon (they of the ditty about the flamingly carnal times) did not become famous through sheer hard work and awesomeness. It can now be revealed that they have employed a cunning “well at least I’m not that bad” tactic, involving the creation of fake musicians.
This news comes after yesterday’s revelations that tweeny-bopper Disney band The Jonas Brothers are not in fact, real people. At an outdoor concert, many were alarmed as Nick Jonas blew over in a strong wind, to reveal Kings of Leon roadie Christopher “Nacho” Followill, grinning sheepishly behind a cardboard cutout, holding a cassette player. Before security could react, there was a puff of smoke and the crackle of lightening, Nacho swished his shiny hair and disappeared. Despite numerous sightings, he has not yet been found.
Members of the band have been called in for questioning. Unfortunately, they started with guitarist Matthew Followill. Interviewing is proceeding, although not at the rate that Chief Constable Jones would like. “Such a strong will!” he could be heard complaining to a co-worker. “I ask him a question, he smokes a cigarette. I play him witness statements, he plays with his earring and tells me how much he enjoyed playing V Festival.” Jones could then be heard muttering “bribe... bribe... Will the annual budget cover a Porsche 9/11...?”
Police are also refusing to comment over allegations half the force are currently incapacitated – after being faced with an intense pair of blue eyes and a perfectly trimmed beard, many officers became weak at the knees and had to have a lie down. This reporter tried to get close to the action, but all that could be heard from behind a closed door was a drawled “yea lidduhrally”.
]BREAKING NEWS
In a shocking move, police have today exposed one of the more bizarre moments in rock’s competitive history. Contrary to popular belief, southern rock band Kings of Leon (they of the ditty about the flamingly carnal times) did not become famous through sheer hard work and awesomeness. It can now be revealed that they have employed a cunning “well at least I’m not that bad” tactic, involving the creation of fake musicians.
This news comes after yesterday’s revelations that tweeny-bopper Disney band The Jonas Brothers are not in fact, real people. At an outdoor concert, many were alarmed as Nick Jonas blew over in a strong wind, to reveal Kings of Leon roadie Christopher “Nacho” Followill, grinning sheepishly behind a cardboard cutout, holding a cassette player. Before security could react, there was a puff of smoke and the crackle of lightening, Nacho swished his shiny hair and disappeared. Despite numerous sightings, he has not yet been found.
Members of the band have been called in for questioning. Unfortunately, they started with guitarist Matthew Followill. Interviewing is proceeding, although not at the rate that Chief Constable Jones would like. “Such a strong will!” he could be heard complaining to a co-worker. “I ask him a question, he smokes a cigarette. I play him witness statements, he plays with his earring and tells me how much he enjoyed playing V Festival.” Jones could then be heard muttering “bribe... bribe... Will the annual budget cover a Porsche 9/11...?”
Police are also refusing to comment over allegations half the force are currently incapacitated – after being faced with an intense pair of blue eyes and a perfectly trimmed beard, many officers became weak at the knees and had to have a lie down. This reporter tried to get close to the action, but all that could be heard from behind a closed door was a drawled “yea lidduhrally”.
Morons
