The general advice thread

[ncox10021]

Sorry, I searched for an advice thread and couldn't find one. I thought we had one - anyhoo, here goes:

My BF's son is going to be here 1st week of June for 2 months. He was here last year for 1 month. He is 9 years old.

What kinds of activities/camps/etc. would you recommend for a 9 year old? He plays football and doesn't want to go to a football camp since he does that during the school year.

Any suggestions for keeping a 9 year old boy busy?

Last year I spent every day at the pool with him and taught him how to swim.

I need some ideas!

[lenscreep]

I take my kids bowling and they play the wii occasionally. We recently went to Magiquest at the Mall of America and there may be one in Columbus. Kids get to be wizards there. Mine thought it was fun. Mine were playing 500 in the yard yesterday and using sidewalk chalk to make drawings in the driveway. If I think of more I'll let you know.

[ncox10021]

Thank you Brad! I was thinking more of daytime camps/lessons/etc. while we're both working... he can stay home by himself for 1/2 day but I think it's better when kids get outside.

I'm on that Wii situation - I loooooooove that machine!

Am I too ambitious in thinking a 9 year old would want to learn French and take piano lessons? My mom and I can both teach him those.

[beplumcrazy]

Coxy try looking at your local YMCA's and see what kind of groups they have going. Sometimes they have really fun stuff! I usually suggest that to my client's parents to get the kids out of the house and away from the tv/computer/video games!

[ncox10021]

Yep - I'm looking at the YMCA camps now - they are kind of far away (20 min. drive there). OSU has a good camp too but it's a little expensive.

And, yes, I want him to be active and outside most of the time like last summer. Meh, maybe I won't have a job yet and will be able to be a "soccer mom" again this summer!

[Helene]

I was thinking about the leisure camp, is that what you call YMCA's in the states, sorry, I dont know where you live, so dont know what you should really do. Talking of activities with a kid, I am going to be on baby sitting duties on monday, a 4 year old, from 11 to 8. Its going to be long, I used to have the same sort of hours when I was an au pair, but this is different, he's my friends son, and I am a bit nervous and its going to be very rainy if I believe the weather forecast, so a trip to the park is not going to happen.

[Ems]

I'm going to take advantage of this thread. I'd like a little help please

Today I was offered a proper job at the place I work. The only problem is my step-dad would kinda be my boss. I don't like him at all and the work looks really complicated.

I don't know whether to get off my high horse & take a proper job that pays a decent wage, even though my step-dad would be in charge of me The last person that did this job was my friend and they got rid of him because they said he wasn't good enough...

Or should I stick about for a while longer to see if anything better comes up where I can do my own thing & do something that I would enjoy & be somewhat good at. I know they say 'you never know until you try' but I just can't handle the thought of working with my step-dad every day & screwing up big time & going the same way as my friend.

I told my step-dad I'd let him know by tomorrow Hope all that makes sense. Thanks in advance

[kim111]

well you kinda answer it by saying you cant handle the thought of working with your step dad...
but
perhaps you can do the full time and still keep an eye out for something better? it might make your cv look better? also if it looks really complicated ask your step dad if he really thinks you can do it?

[Ems]

I suppose I kinda did. But the money is way better than what I'm getting now. I just don't know whether I'd be able to stick it out I did ask him what made him think I'd be better than my friend but I didn't get a reply. I suppose staying longer where I am would be more beneficial... Ugh I'm so confused!

[Erin]

Tell your stepdad that you can´t make a proper decision unless you know what your tasks will be AND why he thinks you´d be better for the job than your friend. One day isn´t very long to think of taking the job, or not, if you don´t have all the info.

[NikLovesLeb]

I guess some other questions to consider--how will it impact your relationship with your mom? If things go wrong? If it's her husband and you are her daughter?
Is he your direct supervisor? Or are there people between you two?
What if YOU want to quit--for whatever reason--how will it go down with the family?

[ncox10021]

I just saw this - my advice - don't ever work with family. Sorry, I've seen too many terrible outcomes of this to say otherwise..............

[NikLovesLeb]

I basically agree with Coxy--working with family is tough, but especially if you are working with a person you dont like, who is not an equal partner, but in a position of power.

[Ems]

He is the Head of the department so he's basically in charge of everyone. Thank you all for the advice. I think I'm just going to wait for something else

[ncox10021]

I need advice again - I applied to be a biz/dev person and instructor at this bead shop here. I've known the owner for 4 years.

Anyhoo, the "interviews" have already lasted 2 weeks - a formal application and then a recorded response from me answering 3 questions from her.

I've been asked to come in for another interview, but not for a whole week! AND she said the interview would last 2 hours. It's not like I'm applying for the FBI.

The whole thing is weird to me, I can't help but think she got burned on the last employee she hired (which she sort of alluded to when I gave her my app). But this is ridiculous. I asked her if there was anything I could do to prepare for the interview, but she said no, "just come in relaxed."

Any words of wisdom?

[beplumcrazy]

just be really confident in yourself!

[NikLovesLeb]

This is overkill, but sometimes, the smaller the business the lengthier the interview process.

If you really want the job, you might as well go, particularly if you'll have to work with this person one-on-one, you want to get a feel for her too. Sometimes people whom you know socially are very different as bosses.

Just come with some questions and see what she says.

[beplumcrazy]

i need some advice...

so latley i've noticed that one of my good friends and one of my co-workers are quite possibly the most negative people i know. they both constantly text me with things like "i hate my job/i want quit/i've had enough of this/i hate it here"

well whenever i'm stressed out or having a bad day and i get a steady stream of text messages from them it just makes me even more stressed and makes me have their same negative attitude and i have enough trouble of my own trying to stay positive without them making it worse. even when i am feeling ok sometimes their constant negativity brings me down.

i really enjoy them both when they aren't being negative but i really can't take being brought down by them anymore. so i guess the advice i'm seeking is how to get them to stop without pushing them out of my life completely?

[NikLovesLeb]

After being in HR and dealing with all sorts of people and issues, there is the "PNP" concept by which i swear. It stands for "Positive--Negative--Positive".
If you want to keep your friends in your life, but want to discuss this problem, start positively, then describe the negative, and end on a positive note as well.
So instead of "shut the fuck up guys", maybe try saying that YOU like your job, which is the positive, and perhaps confirm THEIR frustrations, by agreeing that parts of the job are hard and unpleasant, or something of the sort, and end on a positive---we're lucky to have jobs in this economy! or, "keep it for now, and start searching for something new".

People dont like to be confronted or accused. So keeping it general, instead of "you" might be more productive.

Hope this made sense.

[ncox10021]

That's good advice Nik - I have been in that position before and it actually did bring demise to my job. The negativity rubbed off on me.